Karena ideologi feminisme banyak menyoroti lembaga perkawinan sebagai cikal bakal kekerasan terhadap perempuan, atau merupakan 'lembaga resmi' yang banyak mendukung pendomestikasian perempuan maka sejauh ini aku banyak menulis tentang pernikahan. Ada 28 posts so far di marriage, 2 posts di menikah , 1 post di menikah dan ada 7 posts di Divorce. Dalam tulisan-tulisan sebelum ini, banyak orang yang kuwawancarai -- my students, workmates, friends -- bisa dikategorikan sebagai mereka yang sangat setuju dengan marriage-oriented society => menikahlah, maka kamu akan dianggap 'normal'. :)
Di tulisanku kali ini, however, aku memiliki responden yang berbeda. :)
Di postingan Why getting married? aku menulis beberapa alasan mengapa orang menikah:
- Mengikuti sunnah rasul
- Punya anak
- Agar punya seseorang yang selalu menamani kita
- Untuk memiliki kehidupan yang lebih baik
- Demi cinta
Di kelas "Religious Studies" minggu lalu aku dan my students membahas tentang "Marriage and Divorce". Ketika kutanya apa alasan orang menikah, mereka menjawab dengan seenaknya. :)
- Kurang kerjaan (LOL)
- Demi uang dan kekayaan
- Memperbaiki keturunan
- For fun
- To have legal sex
- Lebih banyak kerjaan => punya anak dan mengurusi mereka
- Harus bekerja lebih keras dikarenakan harus meng'cover' kebutuhan suami/istri/anak
Kesimpulan dari diskusi:
- It is not a must to get married
- A marriage does not always mean happiness
Di bawah ini kucopy-paste dua tulisan siswaku.
Strangely, religions seem to believe someone must marry to be happy. In my opinion, this belief would not work well in the modern world. Taking care of yourself alone is already hard enough. And an entire family? Marriage = trouble.
Here is an equation:
time = money
marriage = money x time
marriage = money (pangkat dua)
money = problem
marriage = problem (pangkat dua)
Well, that was offensive, but I am just trying to say that people don't have to love or marry each other to be happy. Marriage is not a thing in the past; it is not a happy thing anymore, except in some cases. We, human, enjoy the company of others and have the ability to choose, right? We can also understand others and have friends, right? So, we should be free to choose whether we want to marry or be just friends.
Pre marital sex? I don't care. Dogs and lions do that, so you will bring yourself to that level, animals, which we are all.
Marriage and divorce are important topics in religious studies although perhaps they are not as relevant as other topics of religion.
In most religions, marriages are encouraged (or, even, in some cases, considered an obligation) as it reflects love for others and unity; although there are, too, several religions that promotes celibacy, sucs as Catholics.
While marriages are encouraged, however, divorces are not. Although some religions allow married couples to divorce, it is always discouraged and seen as a last resort (especially in Christianity, as it is written in Bible that marriage is to be kept pure. This means that no matter what happens, the ties of marriage should not be broken by divorce.)
Also, most religions promote (emphasize) monogamy. But in the case of Muslims, polygamy is allowed, (but for some reasons, polyandry is not) although a man who has more than one wife must treat all his wives in the same way.
GL7 14.00 170311